Things That Matter

Sometimes in the here and now it is so hard to determine what things are important and deserving of our precious time. As time goes on, we can look back and see how senseless worrying about certain things truly is. I always find myself coming back to something that was said during my week in Lynchburg. But that is how much that experience truly changed the way I see things. I learned so much about the profession I am going into; things that I can carry over into my life. Perhaps the most important thing I learned is how absolutely ridiculous it is for us to worry. I, myself, am an obsessive worrier…but I have started to try really hard not to worry and just focus on the things that matter.

First, it doesn’t matter if I am “right”. The term right is a matter of opinion, and of course my opinion is the one that I live by, but you may not. And that’s okay. My job as a daughter, girlfriend, cousin, confidante, friend, and future therapist is not to be right. My job is to be a support system for those I love and care for. It is up to the individual to determine if what they are doing is right for them. That isn’t up to me. We each have our own set of lenses through which we see the world. It is ultimately this worldview that shapes our every thought. I have come to realize that by always needing to be right, I have failed to be able to just sit with the person where they are. That sediment sitting in an unfamiliar ideology was uncomfortable for me, so I tried to push people to see things the “right” way. This only caused me to ultimately push them away. Sometimes the thing that is important is the ability to just be able to sit, comfortable, and understanding with a person. It is not all about me and my comfort. If I can just learn to see things through that person’s lens and be willing to sit in the discomfort for a while, eventually I can introduce a wider view to that individual. That is what matters.

Sometimes I struggle with the things that matter. I get a skewed view of reality and lose my view of matter. This is where the worry comes in. I worry constantly for my loved ones. I worry about their safety, their wellbeing, their decisions and choices. And that, my friends, is not what matters. Worrying is for the birds. Dr. Jeanie Brooks says that there is nothing that a child can experience that our Lord cannot undo the damage of. Having the background that I do, I should know this. I have studied resiliency in children and have read countless case studies about children who have experienced horrible childhoods and turned out okay. Worrying is not a thing that matters. Worry does nothing but add stress to my life. I can’t change others views or actions. That isn’t up to me. I can’t change anything about another person; be it their habits, parenting skills, or lifestyle. I can just pray for their safety and guidance from my God. Because one thing is for sure, it is in His hands. Turning it over to the Lord matters.

Through all this I have learned to stop wishing my days away waiting for a better one to come. I have lost and gained so much in my short 23 years old earth. And no matter if I die today or live another eighty years, my life will only be a fleeting glimpse of time here on earth. My faith matters.It is through my faith that I can believe in things I cannot see, dream of a better place, and find comfort in knowing that I will reunite with my Christian loved ones that have died too soon. Endings are never a happy portion of life. Be it the ending of a life or the last bite of a hot doughnut; the end always sucks. That doesn’t matter, because it doesn’t exist. The Christian life is merely a continuum that we cannot fathom or begin to understand. Our brains are hardwired for finite instances. But that is not what the existence of a Christian person consists of. We are in a constant period of waiting. Waiting for an ending. Waiting for the next beginning. Whatever you do, just make sure you wait actively. Don’t confuse waiting with complacency. Take control and wait with a purpose. Do something while you wait. Be somebody, anybody, whoever you want to be.

 

These are things that matter.

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