Future Promises

I just rounded out another year with a birthday…the big 24 now….with that comes continued comments of “when ya gonna get married?” or “any babies coming soon?” The answer to those questions are “God willing and in his time, but not today.” I may only be a year shy of half-way-to-thirty…but I am mature for my age (judging by the actions of my peers and elders). In my seemingly short time here on earth so far, I have experienced a lot. Seen a lot. Been a lot of places. And got some education.

That being said, it irks me to no end when a middle-aged mom or dad says to me “Oh, you wait until you have kids. You’ll change your tune.” Or “just because you have all these child degrees, you think you’re smarter than me.”

Is it naïve of me to think that I won’t change my tune? Furthermore, is it stubborn of me to be determined that I won’t?  Now I know that some of the irrelevant practices may change, but I can promise you there are some things that will remain the same regardless of the age I am when I have children. I can promise you this because I will not change, and my values will certainly not waiver.

A few promises to my children:

I promise to love you unconditionally. This means without a single stipulation attached. If I am your mother, the Lord has blessed me far beyond what I deserve or could ever dream of. He has entrusted me with your wellbeing and I intend to do my very best to raise you right. Nothing you could ever do could make me love you more or less. There will be times when I dislike you, I am certain of that, but loving is never in question.

I promise not only to love you unconditionally, but to show you that love unconditionally. This means that even if you make a decision I disagree with, I will do everything in my power to respond with love. If you happen to be gay. If you choose to date outside our race. If you become a teen parent. If you choose to ruin your health with drugs and alcohol. Through all of these things I will love you. And I will try my best to show that love to you, as Christ would. Your life choices are not my decision, once you hit a certain age. And I may have to show you tough love, but it will be love. I promise.

I promise to spank you. Not because I want to. Not because I feel like it. But to be used as a form of discipline. I will not harm you, but I may hurt your feelings. You will ask me why do I spank, and your friends parents may not do the same. But that’s okay. Everyone is different. Your grandparents spanked me, and I learned lessons easier for it. You will get similar treatment.

I promise not to sweat the small stuff. There are things that matter and things that don’t. I promise to determine the difference appropriately. You’re going to get dirty. You’re going to break things. You’ll color the walls and shave the dog and knock out your own tooth. But that’s okay. You’re a kid and you’re learning to be a good one. Love us, respect us, love Jesus, and respect yourself….the rest is small stuff.

I promise to teach you about the love of Jesus. As a child, your imagination will run wild and the stories in the Bible will come alive to you. That is amazing. That is wonderful. And the sooner you learn about the importance of Jesus, the better. Growing up in church will allow your faith to grow and mature with your body. How special is that?! The sooner you realize that you were put on this earth for a purpose, the sooner you can start figuring out what that purpose is.

I promise to let you be a kid. You will get to play and have fun. That’s what being young is all about. Computer screens and cell phones are for adults, and they hurt your eyes and probably contain carcinogens. Those things are not for you. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Go play. Outside. Inside. With friends and neighbors and cousins. Get dirty.

I promise to let you be independent. I’ve been there. I know you think you’re so smart, and maybe you are. But I can promise you one thing, you aren’t smarter than me. Now I will let you pick out your clothes, help around the house, and teach you to cook a meal. But never fool yourself into thinking that isn’t part of my plan. I am helping you grow up to be big and strong and not be dependent on anyone else.

I promise to always be honest with you. I don’t like secrets or surprises and if you’re a child on mine, you probably don’t either. I will tell you straight and you can trust me. Sometimes I may have to phrase things a little different in order for you to be able to understand, but I will do my best. I know you’ll ask me some hard ones….where do babies come from? What does it mean to pass away? Can I have a pony? How do I say “no” to my friends?….yes, these questions will come. And I will be patient with each one.

I promise to always be your Mama. This doesn’t mean I’ll always be your friend…because I know there will be times when we are not friends. But I promise that I will always be here, and one day, you’ll want to be my friend. And when that day comes, I’ll smile because I knew it was on the way. And I’ll be relieved that the tense times are behind us.

I promise to never take you for granted. You are a person, who was made in my body, given to me by our Lord. You are a blessing. Every moment that I have with you is one I will never have again. Each day is here and then gone. I promise to seize the day and cherish our time together. I promise to say thank you. For all you will ever do and help me with and give to me. You are special. You are beautiful. I will love you for as long as I am here.

These words are simple. These promises aren’t extravagant. But they are precious. And they are true. And I wish in my heart of hearts that each child born had these things promised and fulfilled throughout their lives. This is what each child deserves. I am not yet a mother, but the Lord willing, I will have a chance to put these thoughts into actions one day.

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Tis the Season

Tis the season….to be jolly….for giving…

How often are we not jolly and giving? Or either we are not jolly while we are giving?

This holiday season, don’t let your heart be hardened and stingy with your giving and cheer. Everyone needs a blessing and if you are reading this you are sitting in front of a computer or on your phone, you have stable housing and clothes that are free of holes, you probably even have a sustainable source of income. Let me tell you something friend, you are blessed. You may be down on your luck or going through a rough patch, but you are so EXTREMELY rich compared to others around the world and within our own country.

I myself have been guilty of giving sparingly to strangers and even sometimes those whom I know. I justify it by saying “I don’t think they are really homeless” or “I know they’ll just use the money for drugs and alcohol”. That is me!! And that is probably you too. Our society has grown accustomed to those who seem to mooch off the system and get something for nothing. And people like you and me don’t think it’s fair and so we choose to be resentful and stingy when it comes to giving to these people. After all, they already get more than they worked for (since they don’t work) and I am already paying them with my tax dollars.

Today, December 17, 2014 I am telling you that we have to stop this. We must begin to give of ourselves to others as God lays it on our hearts. This could be with our time, money, or resources. But if God is calling you and tugging at your heart to do so and you don’t, that’s an act of disobedience. And we should always strive to be obedient to God in every way, every day.

We must not hoard our riches here on Earth. It is pointless and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Luke says in Acts 20 “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (v. 35). Regarding this passage, Angela Thomas says, “When we are aware of where everything comes from, who it belongs to, and why it has been given to us, then it seems foolish to hoard anything that God has given.” We must not give to receive. Be that in the form of gifts or recognition. That MUST NOT be our motivation.

When you give to those who will forget to say thank you, all of heaven stands to applaud you. The Lord is omnipresent. He sees it all. And he knows you, inside and out. He knows your motives. In this life we will encounter those people who take from us and do not appreciate or acknowledge what we have done. Although that makes us feel really crappy, know that God has seen you and He loves you more for giving freely. The hardest part about giving is having no expectation of how the person will receive it. Even if we do not strive for recognition, we all strive for appreciation.

Angela Thomas says, “I am supposed to give as I am led by God. How my giving is received is not mind to determine.” Wow. That’s good stuff! There will be times where you give and it will be used for the wrong reasons. There will be times you will be taken for a fool by the person you give to. But we can’t let our pride get in the way of giving. We have to stop caring how we look to others and we absolutely can not put stipulations on the gifts we give to others.

Neil Anderson says, “We should never give people what they deserve- we are called to be merciful…We are to be gracious and give people what they need- the gift of love.” As children of God and brothers and sisters of Christ, we are called to give. Give, give, give. Everyone needs to be loved, even if they don’t deserve it. You must never forget, we don’t deserve it. We deserve the most brutal wrath of God, but it is by grace that Jesus has saved us through faith that we are no longer to receive that wrath. He gave, knowing that he was being viewed as an idiot, being taken advantage of by many, but he gave to you and me his life. And every day we are to strive to be more like Him. Therefore we must give. Happily and freely.

Tis the season to be jolly while giving, for JESUS is the reason for the season!

Merry Christmas! May God continue to bless you in abundance in the coming year.

Why ‘God will give you more than you can handle’ changed my life: And how it fixed Christmastime

“Christmas is our reminder of the things that keep our feet on solid ground and the One who handles what we simply cannot. Christmas is our time to remember the way the Savior came to a broken world full of grief and pain and impossibility all in order to bring life, and relief and hope.” What beautiful words from Kayla. I love her blog, the original entry she mentions here specifically. I encourage you to read it as well and share your thoughts.

all our lemmony things

It’s been nearly a year since I wrote God will give you more than you can handle.

A whole year.

I can hardly believe it. It still surfaces as one of my most-read blogs of all time and I don’t think that’s a coincidence. It’s because out of everything we could ever go through as human beings, that is the one thing that connects us all. The struggle–and the triumph over it.

I read it again this morning, throwing myself back to the time when the Christmas lights were strung, the tree decorated, the little manger on the dresser paused in time with Mary’s eyes on the baby Savior’s face. Nothing had changed from just an hour before and I’m certain that even our cat was undisturbed from his sleep. Nothing had changed except our hearts. Because my dad, laying within the glow of Christmas lights, had breathed his…

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