The Economy of Forgiveness

Aaron’s uncle posted an article on Facebook that I will encourage every one of you to read. It can be found here: http://www.mbird.com/2015/09/from-the-magazine-the-losing-economy-of-forgiveness/ It is long and full of concepts that may be hard to understand. But it is truly a wonderful read. If you want to spare yourself some time, I will likely sum up the gist of it in this post.

The topic is forgiveness and how rarely humans truly give it. According to the Bible, forgiveness and love go hand-in-hand (Luke 7:47). That’s common knowledge and something we have heard many times. But if we truly analyze the principles that make up love, as described in the Bible, and apply those same words to forgiveness, would we be surprised?

Love is described in 1 Corinthians 13 in a beautiful way. I will take each trait of love and replace it with forgiveness. Ponder if you truly feel you can say these things are true in your life.

Forgiveness is patient, forgiveness is kind. It does not envy, boast, and is not proud. It does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. Forgiveness does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.

Did that step on any toes? For me personally, the ones of being patient, not self-seeking, and keeping no record of wrongs really hit home.

Often times I find myself “giving” forgiveness as if I am handing out candy at Halloween. “Oh here, have some forgiveness.”     It’s certainly not that easy.

Sure, I may truly think I forgave someone, but then I find myself being frustrated by the traffic on the highway or the guy at Wendy’s who got my order wrong. I must realize that forgiving the big things will lead to forgiving the small things. If I truly haven’t forgiven my friend or family member who has wronged me, I am just harboring bitterness which will find an outlet elsewhere in my life. By extending forgiveness to those around us, we develop a different mindset. As it says in the article, “The world is no longer our own personal villain, but an unpredictable place full of people like us.” Remember that. The world is FULL of people just like us. That, in itself, deserves some grace because sweet Lord, that means there are many out there who are stretched thin, tired, pushing the envelope and a deadline.

Why then, is it so hard to forgive others? Put like that, it should be easy right?!  Forgiveness means surrendering the control we all too often pretend we have. This means the first thing I must do is ADMIT that things are beyond my control! Oh yeah, not happening.

I think this maybe one of the things in life I struggle with most. Relinquishing MY control over MY life to someone, anyone, else other than ME. In order to forgive someone, I must admit that I was not in control of their actions, thoughts, or words. I have to admit that each person has their own choice. And that means sometimes the choices they make affect me in a negative way. Obviously, if I had control of the situation or individual, they would not have done said thing that now requires forgiveness.

This also leads to the premise that much of our unforgiveness stems from a longing for and resentment at a world that doesn’t exist. Since we don’t have control over the world, it isn’t perfect in our eyes. Period. However, this doesn’t stop us from wanting that to be the case. There are millions of books sold and therapists seen in order to find the secret to creating the perfect life. It’s extremely hard for us, as individuals, to even grasp the concept that sometimes our good actions and intentions will go unwarranted to those around us.

The author brings up a valid point. In order to forgive, we must let go of our anger, which is often a hard thing to do. This is because often times we believe we benefit from our anger. It is like a self-fulfilling prophecy, a never-ending circle. He says, “Forgiving acknowledges the severity of the problem and surrenders its need to fix it.” It means being able to look at a person or situation that we don’t like, and accepting that fact that we don’t like it, but can’t change it. It’s tough. It’s like saying, “Even though you were an asshole, it’s not my problem; it’s your problem, and I’m not going to stay mad at you, because that’s you, not me.” WOW! If only I could view things from this perspective, life would be a lot happier place! Instead I find myself angry at the “asshole” instead of just accepting the harsh reality that someone did something I didn’t like.

How long should we continue to forgive? How many times is enough? When are we allowed to throw in the towel? The answer Christ gives us is never. Never. Ever. Our duty as his people is to constantly and unequivocally continue to forgive one another.

The biblical story of the prodigal son is known by Christians and nonbelievers alike. A son strays from his family, spending their money, tarnishing the family name, seeming to have no remorse for his actions. One day he finds himself returning home, scared of the reaction he will face when he does so. However, as a perfect example, we are told that he was forgiven.  When you think about it, it is a story of incredible restraint—all that hurt, all the wasted money, all the waiting. But none of that. There is instead only the embrace and the robe and the fatted calf. That is the kind of forgiveness we are called, mandated, to give.

The lack of forgiveness seen in our society is a large part of the reason that our country is going down the drain. I appreciate the justice system and fully understand and believe in our power as a people to exercise such rights. However, there are some things that we do that have been proven to be ineffective. Yet we continue to do so. Now if that’s not moronic, I don’t know what is. For example, how many people do each of us personally know that has been in trouble with the law because of some type of affiliation with drugs? Though some will argue the punishments for such offenders are not strong enough, other times they throw these people under the jail. I find myself asking, what good does that do?

I have a cousin who is a good guy, a loving father. He isn’t the most educated or successful business person, but he works hard. Yet he can’t seem to shake his drug habit. This causes the chemistry in his brain to react in a negative way and causes him to do things he otherwise wouldn’t do. I am not excusing his behavior in any form. However, I would think that if the system would extend him some mercy and grace and help him get clean, rather than throw him in jail with other substance users, he may be a little more likely to stay clean once he gets out.

We can lock up our enemies or try one more “tough love” measure, but not only will the measure fail us in the long run, it will eventually close off the roads to any kind of heartfelt reconciliation or hope. 

I will end this post with a thought from the article that I found most compelling.

Within the realm of grace, nothing is earned, but everything is given. 

I have received grace time and time again. I will continue to receive it every day of my life. I did not earn it. I do not deserve it. There is nothing I could do to either lose it or have more of it. I am supplied with the exact amount that I need for the day, no more, no less. If I receive such lucrative bounty from my Father in Heaven, can I not extend it to my fellow man as well? After all, we are all living together in this unpredictable place, and we are all alike in more ways than we realize.

 

Advertisements

Overwhelmed?

Man, what a whirlwind life I seem to be living! For this season I feel like I am in a constant head-above-water battle, but I know that as all things do, this too shall pass. Since writing last I have experienced emotions of sheer joy, relief, anxiety, worry, anticipation, and happiness.

Over the span of 3 months Aaron and I have reunited with estranged family members, got engaged, got in a wreck and totaled his truck, watched our dog have puppies, began the planning for remodeling our future home, dealt with the looming threat of me being unable to have children, and been involved in court proceedings to help ensure our niece remains in a thriving environment. Put that on top of me personally playing the piano at church every week, about to finish grad school in a few weeks, beginning my internship, maintaining my “real” job, planning a wedding, helping friends with babies and showers and moving…

It’s a lot. And I will admit, while I am living it, it seems like normal because it is my life. But writing it all down, no wonder I feel tired in the mornings!

I often wonder why I don’t feel overwhelmed. Tired, extremely, but rarely overwhelmed.

I truly believe that my main source of strength and perseverance comes from God. Aaron and I have been reading Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life. We are truly living our life, the best we can, according to God’s Word. And it’s showing throughout our lives. As Perry Noble says, “As our view of God increases, our worry and stress decrease, because it’s only then that we begin to believe that all the things that are over our heads are under His feet.”

Perry Noble also points out some key ways of thinking that create such overwhelming feelings. I’ll outline some for you here.

Thinking you are in control. I don’t believe there is ever a time that God laughs harder at you than when you kid yourself into thinking you have complete control over your life and the things around you. It says in Proverbs 19:21 “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”

Thinking things are totally out of your control. If you are a Christian, and you were born after Christ died on the cross, you have the Holy Spirit living inside you. This Spirit could be characterized as many things such as your conscience or the angel on your shoulder but ultimately, it is God inside your body giving you the power of discernment and courage to overcome trials of the world. The Bible says in 1 John 4:4, “You belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.” We have the power to relax and let go of our worldly troubles if we just choose to do so!

Expecting to live an easy life surrounded by good people. Because we live in a fallen world, the world is full of fallen people. We are not much unlike these people, as we all sin every day. However, even if we surround ourselves with people who are only good, Christians and go to church every time the doors open and pray religiously….the world around us is still fallen, and we are guaranteed to feel the effects. Perry Noble says, “When we meet Christ, we are saved from the penalty of sin, but we do not escape the effects of sin – whether that’s our own or other people’s sin or simply the broken world we live in.” No matter how good we try to be, we will still feel the backlash effects of sin.

Expecting to have the energy and time to do it all. I once heard a professor say, “The Bible calls those who will not work lazy, but it calls those who will not rest disobedient.” Wow. Self-care is truly important. In your profession and your personal life. There is no way one person can do everything there is to do. We must learn to let go of some things and delegate them to others.

Accepting sin as a way of life. Now I am just as guilty of this as the next person, but it’s true. We are contributing to our negative feelings by not omitting the sin in our life and just dismissing it. Perry Noble says, “In today’s culture, the temptation is to look at sins and refer to them as issues, mistakes, or problems. And as long as we see sin as something that we need to learn to cope with rather than something that needs to be removed, we will never take the cation necessary to peel the cap off the bottle so we can be spiritually refreshed.” He makes a good and valid point. Some things we are unwilling and reluctant to give up, but we may be amazed at how much more at peace we would be if we did so.

We refuse to forgive others. Another hard one. Maybe the hardest. I’m a grudge-holder by nature. But what I have come to learn is that my “nature” doesn’t matter because I am in Christ and should put Him on display each day. There are those who say, “if that person would just apologize I would forgive them”. And yeah, that’s nice when it happens. But that’s not the example that was set before us. Jesus is our example. and the people who were murdering Him never even asked for forgiveness…He just gave it to them. The example for us is that we must forgive freely – even to those who don’t deserve it. We can’t put stipulations on forgiveness and keep score of rights and wrongs. That’s not up to me. I’m going to be a therapist, not a judge. Besides the fact that not forgiving breaks up families and causes strife, it also is just stressful keeping tabs on all those tally marks for each side! LET IT GO!!!! Please. For your own sake.

We try to force love on others and on ourselves. Love is strong. And it’s a strong action, not an emotion like we’ve been taught. Love is doing, actively pursuing, proving day in and day out the commitment to the other person. Perry Noble says, “Love is determined by what we’re willing to seek out and what we’re willing to sacrifice for.” Knowing that, also know that God loves you. And his love and grace are sufficient. You need no one else’s. It’s nice to have. It makes life more enjoyable. But it’s not necessary. Don’t try to push love on those who don’t want it. Just lay it out there for them to pick up. It’s not hard, though it is work. It should be one of the most awesome jobs you have, loving others.

We expect instant gratification. Guilty! I want it, and I want it now! Yes, please. NOW! Though that’s my thought process most of the time, God laughs again. We must be vigilant, persistent, and enduring on our quest and towards our goals. That shows dedication and love. The Bible gives us one for this in Galations 6:9, “Let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Good is coming, but it may not be today. Rest in that knowledge.

Ultimately, these things are all things I have or continue to struggle with. Overwhelming feelings come and go. However, if we refuse to allow our circumstances to shape what we believe about God, we will walk in freedom from fear, knowing that the One who holds tomorrow is good and is in complete control. In writing this post I have utilized Perry Noble’s book Overwhelmed a lot. I encourage you to read it!

Also, please be in prayer for me and my family. We have been going through a lot and are still waiting on answers and concreteness of things. Pray that God’s will be done in all areas of our lives and that his healing hands will be upon my body. Love to you all!

Future Promises

I just rounded out another year with a birthday…the big 24 now….with that comes continued comments of “when ya gonna get married?” or “any babies coming soon?” The answer to those questions are “God willing and in his time, but not today.” I may only be a year shy of half-way-to-thirty…but I am mature for my age (judging by the actions of my peers and elders). In my seemingly short time here on earth so far, I have experienced a lot. Seen a lot. Been a lot of places. And got some education.

That being said, it irks me to no end when a middle-aged mom or dad says to me “Oh, you wait until you have kids. You’ll change your tune.” Or “just because you have all these child degrees, you think you’re smarter than me.”

Is it naïve of me to think that I won’t change my tune? Furthermore, is it stubborn of me to be determined that I won’t?  Now I know that some of the irrelevant practices may change, but I can promise you there are some things that will remain the same regardless of the age I am when I have children. I can promise you this because I will not change, and my values will certainly not waiver.

A few promises to my children:

I promise to love you unconditionally. This means without a single stipulation attached. If I am your mother, the Lord has blessed me far beyond what I deserve or could ever dream of. He has entrusted me with your wellbeing and I intend to do my very best to raise you right. Nothing you could ever do could make me love you more or less. There will be times when I dislike you, I am certain of that, but loving is never in question.

I promise not only to love you unconditionally, but to show you that love unconditionally. This means that even if you make a decision I disagree with, I will do everything in my power to respond with love. If you happen to be gay. If you choose to date outside our race. If you become a teen parent. If you choose to ruin your health with drugs and alcohol. Through all of these things I will love you. And I will try my best to show that love to you, as Christ would. Your life choices are not my decision, once you hit a certain age. And I may have to show you tough love, but it will be love. I promise.

I promise to spank you. Not because I want to. Not because I feel like it. But to be used as a form of discipline. I will not harm you, but I may hurt your feelings. You will ask me why do I spank, and your friends parents may not do the same. But that’s okay. Everyone is different. Your grandparents spanked me, and I learned lessons easier for it. You will get similar treatment.

I promise not to sweat the small stuff. There are things that matter and things that don’t. I promise to determine the difference appropriately. You’re going to get dirty. You’re going to break things. You’ll color the walls and shave the dog and knock out your own tooth. But that’s okay. You’re a kid and you’re learning to be a good one. Love us, respect us, love Jesus, and respect yourself….the rest is small stuff.

I promise to teach you about the love of Jesus. As a child, your imagination will run wild and the stories in the Bible will come alive to you. That is amazing. That is wonderful. And the sooner you learn about the importance of Jesus, the better. Growing up in church will allow your faith to grow and mature with your body. How special is that?! The sooner you realize that you were put on this earth for a purpose, the sooner you can start figuring out what that purpose is.

I promise to let you be a kid. You will get to play and have fun. That’s what being young is all about. Computer screens and cell phones are for adults, and they hurt your eyes and probably contain carcinogens. Those things are not for you. Sorry, I’m not sorry. Go play. Outside. Inside. With friends and neighbors and cousins. Get dirty.

I promise to let you be independent. I’ve been there. I know you think you’re so smart, and maybe you are. But I can promise you one thing, you aren’t smarter than me. Now I will let you pick out your clothes, help around the house, and teach you to cook a meal. But never fool yourself into thinking that isn’t part of my plan. I am helping you grow up to be big and strong and not be dependent on anyone else.

I promise to always be honest with you. I don’t like secrets or surprises and if you’re a child on mine, you probably don’t either. I will tell you straight and you can trust me. Sometimes I may have to phrase things a little different in order for you to be able to understand, but I will do my best. I know you’ll ask me some hard ones….where do babies come from? What does it mean to pass away? Can I have a pony? How do I say “no” to my friends?….yes, these questions will come. And I will be patient with each one.

I promise to always be your Mama. This doesn’t mean I’ll always be your friend…because I know there will be times when we are not friends. But I promise that I will always be here, and one day, you’ll want to be my friend. And when that day comes, I’ll smile because I knew it was on the way. And I’ll be relieved that the tense times are behind us.

I promise to never take you for granted. You are a person, who was made in my body, given to me by our Lord. You are a blessing. Every moment that I have with you is one I will never have again. Each day is here and then gone. I promise to seize the day and cherish our time together. I promise to say thank you. For all you will ever do and help me with and give to me. You are special. You are beautiful. I will love you for as long as I am here.

These words are simple. These promises aren’t extravagant. But they are precious. And they are true. And I wish in my heart of hearts that each child born had these things promised and fulfilled throughout their lives. This is what each child deserves. I am not yet a mother, but the Lord willing, I will have a chance to put these thoughts into actions one day.

Tis the Season

Tis the season….to be jolly….for giving…

How often are we not jolly and giving? Or either we are not jolly while we are giving?

This holiday season, don’t let your heart be hardened and stingy with your giving and cheer. Everyone needs a blessing and if you are reading this you are sitting in front of a computer or on your phone, you have stable housing and clothes that are free of holes, you probably even have a sustainable source of income. Let me tell you something friend, you are blessed. You may be down on your luck or going through a rough patch, but you are so EXTREMELY rich compared to others around the world and within our own country.

I myself have been guilty of giving sparingly to strangers and even sometimes those whom I know. I justify it by saying “I don’t think they are really homeless” or “I know they’ll just use the money for drugs and alcohol”. That is me!! And that is probably you too. Our society has grown accustomed to those who seem to mooch off the system and get something for nothing. And people like you and me don’t think it’s fair and so we choose to be resentful and stingy when it comes to giving to these people. After all, they already get more than they worked for (since they don’t work) and I am already paying them with my tax dollars.

Today, December 17, 2014 I am telling you that we have to stop this. We must begin to give of ourselves to others as God lays it on our hearts. This could be with our time, money, or resources. But if God is calling you and tugging at your heart to do so and you don’t, that’s an act of disobedience. And we should always strive to be obedient to God in every way, every day.

We must not hoard our riches here on Earth. It is pointless and meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Luke says in Acts 20 “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” (v. 35). Regarding this passage, Angela Thomas says, “When we are aware of where everything comes from, who it belongs to, and why it has been given to us, then it seems foolish to hoard anything that God has given.” We must not give to receive. Be that in the form of gifts or recognition. That MUST NOT be our motivation.

When you give to those who will forget to say thank you, all of heaven stands to applaud you. The Lord is omnipresent. He sees it all. And he knows you, inside and out. He knows your motives. In this life we will encounter those people who take from us and do not appreciate or acknowledge what we have done. Although that makes us feel really crappy, know that God has seen you and He loves you more for giving freely. The hardest part about giving is having no expectation of how the person will receive it. Even if we do not strive for recognition, we all strive for appreciation.

Angela Thomas says, “I am supposed to give as I am led by God. How my giving is received is not mind to determine.” Wow. That’s good stuff! There will be times where you give and it will be used for the wrong reasons. There will be times you will be taken for a fool by the person you give to. But we can’t let our pride get in the way of giving. We have to stop caring how we look to others and we absolutely can not put stipulations on the gifts we give to others.

Neil Anderson says, “We should never give people what they deserve- we are called to be merciful…We are to be gracious and give people what they need- the gift of love.” As children of God and brothers and sisters of Christ, we are called to give. Give, give, give. Everyone needs to be loved, even if they don’t deserve it. You must never forget, we don’t deserve it. We deserve the most brutal wrath of God, but it is by grace that Jesus has saved us through faith that we are no longer to receive that wrath. He gave, knowing that he was being viewed as an idiot, being taken advantage of by many, but he gave to you and me his life. And every day we are to strive to be more like Him. Therefore we must give. Happily and freely.

Tis the season to be jolly while giving, for JESUS is the reason for the season!

Merry Christmas! May God continue to bless you in abundance in the coming year.

The Rich

This past Sunday I visited a new church. My home church is a traditional Southern Baptist, and I love the people who are there…I just wanted to try something different. I heard about this new church that was fairly young in my area that is a praise and worship type church, with Baptist affiliation. I found myself being very welcomed in the congregation and truly enjoyed the sermon. But wouldn’t you know the one Sunday I visit, the subject is money and being rich.

Smack my head. Every pastor’s nightmare.

The way this pastor preaches, he picks a certain portion of the Bible and goes verse by verse each week. They had been focusing on James 5, and I guess last Sunday was when the dreaded portion of the text arose.

There were many things that stuck out to me during the sermon, but the opening statement really grabbed me. Pastor Daylon said, “When I say the word “rich”, you automatically had someone particular come to mind.” …..true. So very true. As a full-time graduate student, full-time employee at a nonprofit organization, young adult with a car payment and 2 dogs; I know what it’s like to pinch pennies. Although I am not poor by any means, I can definitely think of someone rich and lots of people richer than me. He then went on to say that in reality, Americans today and people in general are ALL “the rich”. We have free access to things today that the majority of kings, queens, and royalty throughout history has never experienced. At the push of a button we can experience hot or cold air, have our waste swept away from out from under us, and clean water; just to name a few. Stop and think about that for a second.

Wow.

That’s incredible.

Daylon said, “Having riches is not a sin. It’s what you do with these riches.”

This passage in James is eluding back to the story of the Rich Young Man in Mark 10:17-27.

Having riches is fine, as long as you are willing to give them up if asked and share then with others without being asked.

In America, there is always extra. We throw away so much that could be used. Now some will say, “Oh there are starving children in Africa that would love to have your left-overs.” That’s not what I am saying. I say, “There are starving children in your NEIGHBORHOOD that would love your left-overs.” People, we HAVE to take care of our own before we can spread to other nations. Some focus on the ministry to other countries and shoeboxes to foreign lands. I often wonder, would there be children in Rocky Mount that could use shoeboxes? Although every individual, rich or poor, in this country is still technically rich, could I change their way of life and help them just a little?

The main problems that people fall into with their riches is the need for control of those riches, greed in wanting to keep them, and a lack of generosity to share them with others. If any of these three things is you, you are DEAD in your SIN. Your main concern can NOT be you and your stuff. Food spoils, clothes rot, even metal rusts. If our Lord has blessed you with more than you need, give it away. And while you are giving it away, be sure to let that person know that it is God who has provided for you, and in turn, them. Use that giving opportunity to give away more than stuff. Give away knowledge about Jesus.

It is by no mistake that you are blessed with all you have. There are 3 main reasons that we have riches; to meet your needs, to enjoy, and to give generously. Did you hear that? The Lord blesses you with riches not ONLY to meet your needs, but to please you and for your enjoyment. There is no need to feel guilty about being rich. If you can afford to have nice things, buy them. As long as you leave some to give away. You see? God doesn’t want you to starve in order to feed others. He doesn’t want you to gain riches and lead a miserable life because you give it all away. He wants you to ENJOY what he has blessed you with. Just remember to give. As long as you give, you will continue to receive. God pours himself into our emptiness and will continue to bless you if you do His good works.

God blesses us to increase our standard of living and our standard of GIVING!

No matter how financially rich or poor you are, you have something to give others. What you give to others will return to you ten-fold. Never become naïve to the point that you believe you created the riches for yourself. You can do all things through CHRIST who gives you strength (Phil. 4:13). It is not by your mere will alone that you are blessed with riches.

Be thankful for all you have. Even the smallest things. There have been millions throughout history who did not have such things. There are millions today that still don’t.

YOU are blessed. YOU are rich.

Thank God Almighty for that.

Heaven is real, y’all

For a person so young, I have experienced a lot of loss. And by loss I mean, lost time with those I love. I can rest assured knowing that those I love who have died are surely not lost. I don’t say this for pity. I say this to justify my fascination with death, dying, and coping.

My questioning really began at 16. I found myself wanting to know all these questions related to dying and where heaven fit into all that. It hasn’t been until recently that I have truly grasped the concept.

Through this I have found myself also questioning phrases of comfort such as “that person is looking down on you” or “they are here with you”. I thought, is that true? If so, is that what I want? I found my first perspective of this while listening to Allen preach my aunt’s funeral. He said that no matter how much Bridget loved Terry, and her children, and her life; she wouldn’t want to come back here. Heaven is for real, y’all. And when our loved ones get there, they aren’t coming back. Revelation 21:4 tells us that in Heaven, there is only room for the good things…far better things then we could ever experience in our time here on earth. There is no pain, suffering, stress, or anxiety there. They spend their ENTIRE day worshiping, praising, singing, partying with our Father. Coming back to a fallen world, ain’t nobody got time for that!

I will admit that it is a sweet thought that my grandma is looking down on me; but there are some things I just wouldn’t want her to see. And I truly believe that if she did watch over me, she would continue to stress. She loved me so much. And it would be natural for her to worry about my safety, my future, and MY worries. And to be honest, I would never want that for her. That’s not what eternity is about.

Allen told me that day that Bridget would never wish to come back here, she would only say “Come join me!” Heaven is wonderful, while our world is sinful and fallen. Our loved ones are free from that. We can rest in the comfort of knowing that we will be reunited with them, but I have to tell you that they are not here with us. And I think if you truly search your heart, you will realize that you wouldn’t want them to be either.

Sin makes us spiritually dead and is the reason that we are all guaranteed a physical death. However, for the Christian, giving our life to the Lord is a guarantee that our life will continue in a much lengthy and more extravagant way. Therefore, for the Christian, our death is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter nearly as much, because we are still promised a future. Romans 14:8 tells us that to a Christian, death is better than life.

The death for an unbeliever is a truly grim thing, and definitely deserves mourning, because we know what that person is facing. But that was their choice. G.C. Jones said, “When a free human being uses his freedom to reject the truth of God, and to refuse to relate rightly with him, then there is no alternative except to allow him to do so. In making this choice, man becomes responsible for the results of separation from God. He lives his life in this world without God, and when he dies, God will not pick him up against his will and drag him into a place so drastically different from the kind of person he has chosen to be.”

Don’t fear death, my friend. It will come to us all. Cherish each moment here on earth so that those you love have something to hold onto once you are gone. We live for others. God did not wake you up this morning so that you could complete a task for yourself. He allowed you to open your eyes because someone else in this world needs you. I can promise you that losing some of those I love most at 10, 11, 16, 17, 22…it makes me sad. But I have such wonderful memories with them, and that is all I have to carry me for the rest of my life; until the day I am greeted by their smiling faces at the gates of eternity. Make good memories, folks. We will all have bad days, but make memories with those you love. Don’t let anger, blame, spite, or guilt weigh you down. As Angela Thomas says, “Don’t go to the funeral until the day it arrives, because you will miss the life that you have left. Besides, we’re all terminal. Death is certain for us all.” Don’t begin grieving the person before they are even gone. Enjoy the time you have. Yes, you will surely miss them when their name is called. But you can find comfort in knowing that 1 Corinthians 15:54-57 tells us that death will be defeated. It will not win. And that when Godly people die, they are at peace (Isaiah 57:1-2).